Kuya
Neurotic wageslave with magical powers.
- Job: Junior Executive
- Hobbies: Parasociality.
- Trivia: Can the world really be as sad as it seems?
Zinc
Nihilistic sociopath but otherwise likeable.
- Job: Junior Executive
- Hobbies: Awaiting the end.
- Trivia: One of the most prolific micrograffiti artists in the south-east.
Miss Director
Menacing corporate taskmaster.
- Job: Executive Director
- Hobbies: Probably some weird messed-up rich person stuff.
- Trivia: Has never heard of the term 'gyaru' and wants to stop being asked.
Horace & Titi
Extradimensional jellybeans with legs.
- Job: Navigator
- Hobbies: Stimulants.
- Trivia: Absorb the traits of their assigned executive.
Clarice
Wellness-washing HR drone.
- Job: CSR Officer
- Hobbies: Whittling little blobs.
- Trivia: Keeps secretly feeding Kuya her hair.